Tag Archives: Rock and Roll

Book Review: there is no f*cking secret: letters from a badass bitch – I loved this book!


there is no f*cking secret

letters from a badass bitch

by Kelly Osbourne

Anyone who has seen Kelly Osbourne on the Osbournes when it was a smash it television reality series has preconceived notions and thoughts about her. If you watched her on Fashion Police or E! Live from the Red Carpet you more than likely have preconceived opinions of her.

Personally, I thought she was a strong woman who loved her family, wasn’t afraid to buck the system with fashion and her opinions. Kelly says what she feels in no uncertain language to whoever is around to hear it. Those thoughts were mostly accurate, but Kelly Osbourne is so much more than my perception of her, which is, I am sure, of most celebrities.

Kelly wrote her book in a series of letters. Each one is either to a person, such as her mom, dad and brother Jack, all of which she is crazy about and would do anything for them if they needed her. Other people she wrote to include celebrities like Joan Rivers whom she knew since she was six and body parts such as her vagina, lavender hair and mouth.

She also addresses deeply personal issues (yes, I know probably I should have put her vagina here, but seriously, it IS just another body part) such as her battle with drugs and rehab, social media, Ozzfest, London, dating, bullying and the brushes with death of both her mother and father.

All of these letters revealed more than an opinionated young celebrity who was raised in a rock and roll world that most of us can only imagine. She is bright, funny, a loyal friend and loving daughter, sister and aunt. Would she get on your nerves? Maybe. Would she have your back? No doubt about it.

In addition to all of the feelings and relationships Kelly talks about, there are fun facts we learn about her life and the world as she perceives it. It was fun reading about life on the tour bus. She and Jack had some crazy childhood memories of the summers of Ozzfest on the bus that you better not be late boarding after the last set was played. If so, you held up everyone for hours getting stuck in the traffic leaving the venue.

I also loved the little tidbits of word trivia sprinkled throughout the book. Kelly was born and raised in England then returned there from the states when she turned 19. Anyone who has heard her knows she has a British accent that I hope she never loses. She adds little side bars explaining some of the slang she uses that is common in Great Britain, but means something totally different here. Here are a few of my favorites:

Gearbox: Vagina

Trump: Fart

Mullered: Wasted

Sunday Roast: A big family dinner that we do every Sunday

All in all, my notions of Kelly have changed. I would be honored to have her as a friend. She is a bright, funny, crazy young woman who is deeply loyal to those she loves. She has had personal problems, and honestly who hasn’t? Hers have just been made public by social media and fame.

I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a frank, truthful and brutally honest behind the scene look at what is is growing up as a celebrity. Of course every celebrity child’s life is shaped differently, but the constant scrutiny is always there unless their parents have found a way to keep them hidden from the paparazzi. Kelly Osbourne has opened up her life for all the world to see in there is no f*cking secret

Copyright © 2017 Laura Hartman

Leave a comment

Filed under Book Review

Writing 101 Day 10 – Home in 1969

Tell us about the home where you lived when you were twelve. Which town, city, or country? Was it a house or an apartment? A boarding school or foster home? An airstream or an RV? Who lived there with you?
We moved into the little white house on Weston Avenue the summer I turned three. One might think that I would be too young to have memories of the move. Surprisingly I do. Of course I have many, many more memories of the following 15 years I grew up there. These include the birth of my brother, dad putting an addition on to accommodate said brother and the horrible task telling my parents he died while working in another state.
Our house was in a fairly large city, but it seemed smaller then. We knew everyone on our street and most of the people a block or two over. If one of the kids in the neighborhood did something they weren’t supposed to do, the mom of your friend would either tell you to knock it off, send you home, or do the worst thing they could possibly do – call your mom and tell her what you did. We all pretty much behaved, who wanted to be grounded to the house when there were so many things to do outside with the other kids?
I have so many fond memories of that house, they tumble around in my head like a slide show. Snippets of happiness from Christmases, birthdays, graduations and everyday life can be brought to life again as I remember and share them with family and friends.
channel 7 newsIn the spring of 1969, with the war in Vietnam raging on the nightly news with Fahey Flynn and Joel Daley, life was still pretty carefree for me. The front porch was one of my favorite places to be. Dad screened it in to keep out the bugs. It was shaded by the huge maple tree in our front yard.  I was way too mature to play on the swing set, but not to old to still love to swing. Dad made a porch swing that fit perfectly on one side of the porch between the front door and the side yard where Mom’s climbing rose-bush spread up the side of the house. (photo of the channel 7 News Team from Google Images)
The summer of ’69 brought hot weather and lots of free time. After I got up in the morning, I would help mom with whatever chores she had for me. Usually making my bed, helping with dishes and dusting the furniture. It didn’t take long, then I was free to do as I wanted. Most days that would be reading books while swinging on the porch swing.
Sometimes I would ride my purple Sting Ray bicycle to my friend’s house, or go down to the neighbor’s front porch to play gin rummy. We had games that lasted all day, stopping briefly to run home for a sandwich and chips in our small cozy kitchen. Mom always had WJJD, the local Country station playing. I hated it. My taste ran to rock and roll  Tommy Roe, CCR, Bread and Neil Diamond. I had a transistor radio that Icarried around to listen  to their music where ever I wanted to go.
Our house was small, but big enough for Dad, Mom and my brother and me. It made me feel safe to be within the walls that sheltered us. We always sat down for dinner together in the kitchen without TV for distraction. No internet, no cell phones, no running around from activity to activity to fill the hours of summer. It was good to grow up in a home that was a small oasis in the midst of a turbulent time.
Easter 1969 Easter Morning 1969, my brother and me
If you look closely, you can see the porch swing inside the porch window. That same swing is on the front porch of our current home. My dad gave it to me when they moved from the house on Weston. A better picture of it is the one on the top of my page with the shawl draped over it.

 

3 Comments

Filed under family, writing101