Tag Archives: communication

Book Review: You’re Not Listening – When Was Your Last Real Conversation?

You’re Not Listening

By Kate Murphy

When was the last time you really listened to someone? Not just nodding while someone talks, but by putting down electronic devices, turning off the television or radio and actually listen to the person sitting across from you or on your phone. Ms. Murphy contends for most of us it has been a long time since we have really listened and participated in a conversation. This has reached crisis levels for both the listener as well as the person talking.

Humans crave interaction with others. Sadly, we are now interacting more with texts, emails and snapchats instead of talking with each other. Murphy reminds us that when we have conversations, we see the expressions on the speaker’s face as well as the inflection and emotion behind the words. Your phone or computer cannot give you the meanings behind the words. Emojis will never replace true human emotions. Her research shows as much as 38% of feelings and attitudes are conveyed by tone of voice and non-verbal cues make up for “more than half of the emotional content of the message…”. Just thinking about what we are missing by glancing at our phone or reading our email while talking to friends and family.

You’re Not Listening is profound in a gentle way. Behind all of the facts and research is the most interesting non-fiction book I have read in years. The tender nudging for all of us to become better listeners is the persistent message throughout the pages.

Instead of arguing a point during a conversation, actually listen to the speaker’s points of view. Per Murphy: “To listen does not mean, or even imply, that you agree with someone. It simply means you accept the legitimacy of the other’s person’s point of view and that you might have something to learn from it”. To learn is to grow, and how can we learn if we aren’t listening?

This book is interesting, easy and quick to read. But the information imparted to me is priceless. I find myself thinking of the listening recommendations and actually taking time to really talk to others, both people I know and perfect strangers and then actually listening to them.

If you only read one non-fiction book this year, choose You’re Not Listening. It will take you back to a gentler time when we actually spoke and listened to others. Humans by nature want and need to communicate. Start listening, really listening to others and you will not only enrich their lives, but you will greatly improve yours.

DISCLOSURE OF MATERIAL CONNECTION: I have a material connection because I received a review copy for free from Bookish First in exchange for a fair and honest review.  Copyright © 2019 Laura Hartman

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Writing 101 Day 14 – To Whom It May Concern

Pick up the nearest book and flip to page 29. What’s the first word that jumps off the page? Use this word as your springboard for inspiration. If you need a boost, Google the word and see what images appear, and then go from there. 

Today’s twist: write the post in the form of a letter.

I opened Dean Koontz “The Good Guy” to page 29, the word the immediately jumped out at me was blind.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in regards to the problems with my internet. I blindly trusted you when we signed up for your faster DSL. It is faster. Faster to go down on windy days,  faster to go up in price and faster making me blind with fury.

While I am not a tech, I am not blind. When I tell your phone rep that there isn’t a reset button, it is because I AM looking at the back of the unit and there IS NOT! There is a hole with a red circle around it. When I ask if I am supposed to poke something in there, she said, “of course – for 3 seconds”. One hundred one, one hundred two, one hundred three…

Nope, still no internet. And no, it is not my computer. My phone, Nook, husband’s computer all will not connect either. It IS  your equipment. Should I keep up the blind faith you expect me to have in you? Should I follow along with you like one of the three blind mice? You must answer these questions or I will be forced to BCC all of your superiors.

I sincerely hope you are correct when you tell me it will be fixed by tomorrow. I am so looking forward to watching the new Blind Melon video. While I’m waiting, I’ll just keep singing “Blinded by the Light” because that song calms me and brings down my blood pressure.

My apologies for this letter getting to you after my internet has been fixed (there you see my blind faith in you AGAIN). But I could not email it due to lack of available internet service.

Best Regards,




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